When will I ever be enough? Come on tell me, you fucking fate 'cause if I would never be enough, if i would never get enough high grades to make it in that list, then I wouldn't even bother trying. But that's the hurting part, I tried. I really did. It shows in my card. Look huh:
Subject-1stQ-2ndQ
Eng-88.90-90.43
Fil-86.60-88.87
Sib-86.70-87.77
Sci-88.40-90.07
Math(geom)89.70-90.90
TLE/Computer-89.32-90.30
MAPE-89.44-90.30
CL-84.62-87.09
Trigo-91.20-92.53
Oh man. So, what? am I really that under qualified? I have tried my best to remain optimistic about it. And thus, I fail. I fail badly.
And one thing that really triggered my temper is that when I found out that those in rank 1-5 overall were given application forms for Ateneo. I didn't want to know further details because I am exploding with jealousy. Man, I wish I could cry. Well, fortunately, my tears are held back. Dunno why.
Am I that bad? Am I that stupid? Am I really undeserving?
dude, your grades are freakin' high, what the hell? I wish I had those grades, mine look like dust next to yours! all I can say is, why does a fucking list have to define who really are? I tell you this cause I can relate to you, I used to feel that way too( I had a whole page of bitching back in junior year dedicated to that, so yeah, I've been through that hell hole), even now, but everyday it seems more and more irrelevant, doing your best takes a lot of hard work, it's a sucky cliche, but it's unfortunately true. THERE IS NOWHERE TO GO BUT UP. Bringing yourself down will only hurt more, believe me, I've tried it. Though being in "the list" is hella good, and might give you leverage in college, It does not define you, maybe "the all" has bigger plans or you, one that does not involve what you want, but what you need, which you haven't realized yet, and to tell you the truth, those snooty sob's(I'm exaggerating, for emphasis :))will turn out like each and everyone of us, miserable and lonely, everything has it's own time, sabi nga ng tatay ni mulan :) At the end of the day, we are all just people, lists don't exist, I know proving our worth is like the decorum in high school, there is life beyond that, just do what you think is right.
ReplyDeleteI wish I can follow my own advice ;) Hmmm...
Woah! This has been my dose of positivity for the day,Weird, happiness in misery, not yours okay!
I wish you the best of luck and I believe in you like the sun:) HAHAHAHA!
packing at 2 am,
Yssa!
A, is the computer screen just effing with me or did I see a significant increase in your grades?
ReplyDeletehey, calm down, you might not have gotten your desired result at once, but keep working like this and it'll come soon enough. You're awesome, and don't let grades quantify that.