To blame is an irrationality.

In the future, when we look back, we wouldn't want to refresh an old memory, as if renewing cuts and bruises and spilling alcohol, of having to do something or not. We wouldn't want to forever keep a part of ourselves hidden because of shame. We wouldn't want to be the odd one out when in fact, we all are common denominators.

The news about the recent hostage-taking flooded, if not, stormed the media and all forms of it. And now, people cannot help but to ask where the finger should be pointed. This clearly shows how our priorities are tattered and misled. We value the blame and not the solution(or at least remedy, in this case.) 

It is done. It happened. It slipped through our hands, seeing the situation slowly turn into a silent nightmare and we cannot be awakened, as we are under a sleeping pill of hopelessness and irrationality. 

We shouldn't look for people who weren't there or who didn't do what they should have done. We shouldn't ask for explanations or excuses now.

It is now a time of waking ourselves up from the nightmare that has stricken our heads. It is time to move, to show that we Filipinos are a race to be proud of. It is the grab-deserving moment where we should shine and slowly recuperate from this grim turn of events.

It's no one's fault. No one plants to get his crops withered. No one studies to get one's brain drained. No one loves to get heart-broken. We do certain good things for them to get reciprocated. We plant to produce abundant fields of golden crops. We study to develop our intellect and we love to be loved. So certainly, no one protests to just catch attention. There is always that reason for someone to do something, may it be major or not. 

I had been asked whether to whom I should be mad at. I do not know if my answer was a product of playing-safe or it is right. I answered, can we not just stop looking for faults? Can we just stop the bashing? Can we just let go of the negative rope and instead, hold onto a brighter and more righteous rope, striving for a better morning?

All that was done is done.

Life is lost for us to learn how to value its fragility more. It didn't have to end like that but it doesn't define the totality of the situation.

I'm just saying. :)

I want to be a naturalist!

When I was a kid, I used to spend all my time watching shows from Animal Planet. From the long documentaries about birds, to action-filled shows featuring wild lions, their hunting habits and the diversity of the African landscape. I miss those days. I miss idolizing the late Steve Irwin(may he rest in peace). I miss saying that I want to be a naturalist. Coz now, all I could say is I want to fulfill a not-so-fulfilling dream. I want to be something for the name, for the prestige; not because it was my childhood dream. It's too late now. I have deteriorated my original passion to make way for other priorities. I have lost interest. I have lost the needed intellect for science. Science and I broke up and I have a complicated relationship with the Liberal Arts now.

Paradox.

Rivers were once home to the greatest civilizations in the world. In our country, rivers also served as major passageways and centers of diversity. That's where the word Tagalog(Tagalog) came from. We owe a lot to rivers. But what happened? What are rivers now?

Rivers are disgraceful, dirty and smelly bodies of water..if we can still call them that. Or should I properly call them the urban not-so-comfortable comfort rooms? I mean, I was quietly observing the rivers in Manila that we passed by and I cannot help but to feel extremely angry. I especially blame the squatters. I mean, come on, it's enough that you're building your illegitimate homes on improper grounds but you just had to mess everything up. I'm sorry for the prejudice. I deeply apologize for the prejudice but if these people would just learn how to respect their vicinity then I could prolly spare them a bit of my respect too. They are extreme eyesores.


It's just sad how we kill the things that once gave us profound life.

And oh, while on the bus going to Manila, I saw these structures which say that they are 'Urban Face lifts,' a project of MMDA. I thought that they are more of urban cover-ups.

Not the biggest hypocrite.

After banging my head on the wall for nothing, I have come to realize how insignificant high school achievements are. I mean, come on. When you have these distinctions, you have them. What else is of importance to that? Is it another reason to brag and make others envy you? Is it a sign of superiority? I don't really know where I'm coming from. Maybe I'm just bitter or I'm just feeling lazy to study for the examinations. I don't know. Studying and bashing my head with lessons profusely isn't my thing. I miss my younger years when everything made sense easily; when I just had to listen to my teachers so I could remember the lessons. It's more complex now. And some teachers are just hard to juice out. But well, that's not the issue.

My shallow self.

I hate the fact that I never did learn to draw well. I miss being a kid. I would then draw a snake, ask people what it is, and if they guessed it right, I'd tell them that it's not a snake. It's a worm. Gah. I wish I could be all shallow like that right now. I need my innocence back. But what the hell, once you've lost it, it can never be brought back again right?
Okay. Back to the topic. Yeah. I never have been inclined to drawing. It requires an active part of the brain that I apparently lack. So therefore, my frustration intensified and I just gave up doing this comic strip for English. Come on. I know I've tried. I know I have tried my best to satisfy myself with what I draw but that seems like wishful thinking.
Gah. Why am I so not artistic? I don't know how to play a single instrument. I barely know how to draw. Gaaaah. Was I mutated as a kid or what?