Flashback.

I stumbled upon this old picture and painting. Well, not really old but, ahm, a year ago during  the college days. I can't help but to think and rekindle how simple the relationships were then. How my worries were far from getting me. How simple my woes are, and the fact that they can be easily resolved.

I miss it. Because now, things went too deep with some of my friends(not the one in the picture). Too deep that I sunk. I drowned. I was drifted away.

And I know I changed.

From simple to complex-which I badly hate and regret. T

his is causing my unhappiness, which in turn causes me to want to just finish my two years more of high school, leave this town and forget some memories.

I can't stop blogging.

The title says it all. I can't. I have a lot of things to do, but I lack the interest to stand up from this overly-bended office chair(that is not in an office), and get away from this technology that seems to hypnotize me.
Let me have a recap of the past few days:

Last Saturday: Solitude.
I went to SM ALONE during a 3day sale with students from all over Quezon who found the said mall to be the perfect location of a fieldtrip. Well, they were a bit annoying since they DID NOT KNOW HOW TO RIDE THE ESCALATOR. Duh? Okay, I forgive you. I conclude that that was your first time to see and step on moving stairs. Well. I got my new eyeglasses then bought pizza and went to school. The ladyguard scolded me for wearing flip flops. But, I was surprised by her rather sober nature. Then had the semi-training for the DSPC.
Oh, I almost forgot, I went to National Bookstore, bought school supplies and a copy of The Devil and Miss Prym.

Monday: The Pilgirmage. (lmao)
There are no classes. The Heartbeat pips went to St. Claire monastery. When we were near the school, there was a beggar who, well, begged. They even hostaged our quail eggs.
In the jeepney, there was a passenger who complained because of the noise that we were causing. Maybe he's just jealous that we're so happy. Oh well, moving on. So, we arrived there, gave our offering and got stuck in the rain.

Tuesday & Wednesday: The Battle.
The Heartbeat, with all their efforts and determination, competed in their respective categories. I had a hard time in writing from the facts given to me. We were supposed to decide what lead to use. Since it was a crime scene thingy, I used blind lead. But then, I got nervous finding out that others used novelty leads. Then there was self doubt. And then there was regret.

Thursday: The Outcome. Glee and Tears
Results:
1st place: Janine, Yssa, Brandon
2nd-Jannah, Airon, Nicole
3rd-Martin and I.
4th-Hannah and Chai? If I'm not mistaken. Correct me if I'm wrong.
6th-KC
7th-Nikki
Radiobroad-1st place Best Anchor and Infomercial, 3rd Best Script.
   Overall, 2nd place. This shook us to tears. You deserve better you guys. :(


Friday: Back to class. I was not used to it anymore.




Well, that concludes most of my past few days.

somehow, I want more.

"He was always there for her but she always belonged to someone else."

A really striking phrase for a masochist. In this case, me. Yeah, me. The loser, always the underdog, always not good enough.

For months, I had been thinking about you. Thinking too much about you. Too much that it hurts.

But that doesn't really matter since we always have time for each other. Time, only time, because your heart belongs to someone else.

But what the heck, I'm not bitter. I won't interfere with whatever relationship you guys have. All I want is the right to express it. I just wanna scream, shout my lungs out, saying I love you.

(forget the emotional nature of my blogs. you chose to read them so forgive the cheeziness)

. .not crazy, I'm just a little unwell. .

Yesterday, it was raining cats and dogs but still, I went out, alone. Well, I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell. Haha. And it felt good, leaving the heat of the house, craving for it when I was already out. It's like sometimes, we get too tired of something and just for a twist, we go away from it. And after its absence, we'll realize how it matters. Okay, parang kumabaga cool off.
And fyi, I went out alone. I fear being alone but I always face it. I don't know why.
Anyways, I'm blogging about nonsense so if you found time to click the link to this blog, well then, don't blame me for wasting your time. Lmao.

The truth about the truth.

I just realized something. I just realized that THE TRUTH may not always set you free. Sometimes, it builds more fences that bounds you from other people. Some secrets are better kept as. . well, secrets.

The truth is not always innocent and not always for the good of all. The truth is a destroyer of relationships. I don't know about you but that's what's on my mind right now.