It's hard when you cannot define what bothers you especially if it's so profound that you just couldn't ignore it. I don't know what I want. I don't know why I live, what I live for.

A glitch in the system

Now that entrance test results are going to be released, the feeling of nostalgia fills me, taking me back to a year ago when I was one of the hopefuls. Eventually finding out that I passed all three of my eyed schools, I was in heaven. It was all that I could think about. I felt special. I thought, wow these schools actually wanted me, that my skills were sufficient enough to be even considered.
I wish I could feel the same gleefulness now. Today, I just feel like a glitch in the system. Do I really deserve to be here or was I just a lucky asshole who got in because of technological problems? I feel so damn sure that I shouldn't be here.

Dear mom,
   When you ask me how I am and I reply with a reassuring 'I'm okay, doing great,' what I really mean is, I don't want you to worry but really, I'm not having a great time. It's not that I'm facing huge trouble or something. It's just that it's so hard to be far from home, with only a few friends and an awkward personality that usually ticks people off. But despite these, I know I can survive. You've made me strong mom. I learned a lot from your own experiences.
Love,
Aldrin.