Oh yeah.

I wanna know where I wanna be so I could start correcting my direction. Lately, I've been continuously walking but I do not really know where to. I wouldn't want to arrive somewhere and eventually find out that I don't want to be there after all the measures I took to get there. It may be wishful thinking though, to realize my destination on such short notice. Everyone has to try and trying means that there's a huge potential for error. I guess these errors are the direction-shifters, slowly diverting us into what we're really for.

Anyway, my first college semester will be over in three weeks. I can't believe I survived 4 months of the Ateneo student life. I'm not too proud of my performance, though. I must admit, I've succumbed to mediocrity just because........ I don't know. When you're in an area where everyone's better than you and every lesson's so much harder than what you've been accustomed to, you just can't help but to let it be and hug mediocrity like a comforting friend. I only do well in something when I know I've an advantage, an edge. When everything's stripped off, vulnerability strikes me. This mindset is killing me.

I really hope I improve next semester since I can say that by that time, I've adjusted well and I already know the measures. I have to get high grades so when time comes, I would qualify for Junior Term Abroad. It's what dragged me to SOM in the first place.

I also kinda lack maturity. I've always been going out, partying and hanging out, saying that I'm just taking advantage of my extra time as a freshman. Yes, they say do everything now or forever regret it. So yeah.
I've come to a point of questioning my priorities. Am I here for what? Partying or studying? Or balancing both? I hope I can live up to the latter.