We have to let her go.

I just need to squeeze my writing juices so I could start writing my articles. So I thought of blogging first.

So. Yeah. I have a lot to blog about. It's been a month since I last blogged and September was a pretty eventful month.
But right now, I'd like to focus on a topic that is dear to me.

A few weeks ago, we once again competed in the DSPC. I thought that things would feel all too familiar, having been competing since 5th grade(but skipped a year during 7th grade). But no. This year was different.

It was different in a way that it always makes me teary-eyed every time I think about it. It's really hard to shrug off the feeling that you will do the things you so enjoyed for years for the last time. It's hard to fully attach yourself to people who you know will be detached from you, sooner or later. It's painstaking to imagine how they will be next year(especially with the good byes that are to happen.. Yes, it's officially happening. And it's tearing us apart..as least for a few of us who know about it.) It hurts me to not be there for them when they will experience the "transition," with whoever will guide them next year. I know it will be hard for them..but I feel like it's harder for me to see them hurting from afar and I could not do anything about it.
I am their "kuya" and they made me feel the love and respect that I couldn't get anywhere else. I wish to reciprocate this by being there for them. . which will be physically impossible next year. I wish to make them feel my presence. I wish to be their backbone when they feel weak. I just cannot afford to see them suffering next year if ever someone undeserving will get the new position. I just cannot imagine the sadness, especially of the new ones, who are a bit fragile, still.

But that's just how life goes. "She" has to be free too..to be with her loved one..who will give her the happiness that we cannot give. We have to let her go. And we just have to move on.

(and just to assure you that I really love them, I'm teary-eyed again while blogging)